April Fool’s Day offers a chance for some on-hill foolery. Sure, you could throw snowballs at ski patrol and say it’s only because it’s April 1st, and you could switch your buddy’s binders around, but these antics are always adolescent when the nature of snowboarding offers so much more. We like to think of ourselves as creative types right? Try one–or all– of these jokes on, and if you really want to keep those around you on their toes, try these on any day besides April 1.
Zip ties have so much potential that you should have to drive to Mexico and smuggle them back. They’re dirt cheap and come in all shapes and sizes, best of all, if your target is outside when they find out they’ve been zipped, they’re in for a battle to get these things undone.
What to do:
A.) Run a zip tie through the binding ratchets, the same way the ladder strap would go in. Cinch that puppy down and it will keep the teeth from ratcheting and the bindings from doing their job.
B.) Zip tie the gussets, powder skirts, or whatever marketing term is relevant to your friend’s chosen apparel. Get them tied up real tight, get both arms and both legs. Watch as your friends stick each appendage into their gear only to realize there’s no way out.
C.) This one’s for the sneakiest (and probably meanest) pranksters only. While on the chair lift, find a way to zip tie your buddy’s coat to the safety bar. Set up a bet with your other friends first as to whether he sacrifices the jacket in time to unload, or if he gets stuck on the downhill ride of shame.
Made popular by a certain Scandinavian shredder in a video years ago, the snowboard saw has the potential– as all great pranks should– to really hurt someone. The best target for this is your friend the claimer, the one who always landed that back 3 5-0 when no one was watching. Make sure to pick out the jib claimer in particular, because a park rail is going to be an ingredient in this.
What to do:
Take a handsaw and cut about halfway through the victim’s snowboard, starting at the topsheet and working towards the base, right between the bindings. Try to make your cut clean and use a small enough blade to make it too obvious. As soon as your target straps in, tell him you want to see a good ol’ fashioned boardslide.
Most parks these days have those ridiculous fences at the bottom forcing you to snake your way back into the ski trail, because “us snowboarders are always so darn outta control.” Those fences aren’t permanent, somebody puts them up and takes them down every day…so you can too.
What to do:
Hope that the snow is soft enough that you can just stab those fence poles into the snow where you want them to be. You want to close up those little gates so the fence turns into an impenetrable catch-all for anyone that can’t ollie.