There once was a lawyer from the IOC,
who called us to protect “intellectual property.”

“During the Olympics”, she said with a sneer
“your site can’t use an Olympian’s name even if they use your gear.”

“No pictures, no video, no blog posts can be used…”
Even if they are old? “No!”, she enthused.

While Olympians chase gold the IOC pursues green.
Cough up millions, or your logo cannot be seen.

Except there it is, on top of countless heads!
Tax free endorsements the IOC dreads.

And so it is with a wink and a nudge
that we would like to congratulate a skier whose name we must fudge.

Her hair is long and blonde
Last name rhymes with the German city of Bonn.

Congratulations Women’s Downhill winner –
from all of us here at UVEX (no longer an IOC sinner).